Posts by Sail Away

97

Just ask simple questions and make street witnesses move along

by OnTheWayOut in

you don't have to know much to talk to jw's and show them they don't want to really discuss the matters.they consider a discussion on the matter they are pushing to be "confrontational.".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfw_txpmsj8.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lqtadagucq.

Sail Away

Sail away, I respectfully could not disagree more. When i was a believeing dubbie i would have welcomed a chance to fairly discuss in the maner the first video presented. It would have been an excellent witness and a chance to represent the goodnews in fromt a wide audience. Perhaps its a bit different in the sense that when you give talks you assume you are being recorded and such anyway and i grew accustomed to it, but i wouldnt mind my son being recorded. I always understood that when i stepped into public i was "on stage before men and angels". These people purposly choose the most public places to witness! They do volume studies to ensure there is suffient foot traffic to justfy putting a cart there. Its simply unrealistic to think there is any expectation of 'privacy' (as the one young witness claimed) or that in these very purposly public places that you are not 'on the record' so to speak. --Morpheus

Morpheus, I understand where you are coming from, but I do think that the JWs of today are a different breed. I knew my scriptural and doctrinal points backwards and forwards and could defend my beliefs. Clearly the man in the first video was not a thinking man. These JWs wanted to disengage. They were walking away. Did you not notice that they seemed to have a handler, in effect, a supervisor who shut things down when he didn't like the way things were going? They couldn't have said what they were really thinking under this circumstance even if they wanted to.

Of course the organization puts these carts in high-traffic areas. That only makes sense. It is not the rank and file JW that is making that decision. Have you considered the possibility that there are JWs who are waking up to TTATT or who are trapped born-ins who are doing this type of street work to just put in their time in the easiest way possible until they can make their way out? There are dozens of these who are posting on Reddit.com every week. It is sad.

Further, children are not born with critical thinking skills. I think it is reasonable to expect that people of their age under undue influence may not have developed such skills. I maintain that if the motive to help wake up a JW, recording them and putting it up on YouTube is not the way to go. It is unkind at best.

97

Just ask simple questions and make street witnesses move along

by OnTheWayOut in

you don't have to know much to talk to jw's and show them they don't want to really discuss the matters.they consider a discussion on the matter they are pushing to be "confrontational.".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfw_txpmsj8.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lqtadagucq.

Sail Away

I understand wanting to wake these young adults up. They are clearly indoctrinated and under mind control. They are not thinking. What I have a problem with is recording this and putting it up on YouTube. I would not want this done to me or to my two children when they were still in-- how embarrassing! We were all once there. I don't think it is effective to put these JWs on apostate red alert. It will only push them further in. Please rethink this and show some compassion and kindness. The ex-JW maintained his anonymity. That privilege was not afforded these young JWs.

53

Need to vent: Wife just went in full cult mode, huge fight. she is so brainwashed

by goingthruthemotions in

jw
friends

out of the blue my wife started to ask me about my feeling about the borg.

i told her i didn't want to talk about it...she persisted.

she already knows how i feel, i told her that my biggest beef is that they use mind control, and yep she went in to how i was an apostate and how she doesn't want to be married to an apostate.

Sail Away

goingthroughthemotions, I am truly sorry for your pain. I have been where your wife is right now, and I promise you she is hurting too. You, your wife and your marriage are all fighting the death grip of the WTBTS. I wrote this article a couple of years ago to explain my thought process when I was still a JW and married to my husband who had left the organization long before I did. Perhaps this will help in some way. That is my hope. Here is the link:

http://aawa.co/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/How-to-Stay-Married-to-Your-JW

NB: I meant no offense by the title to my article when referring to my JW spouse simply as a JW. I did not know this article would end up searchable in Google, but there you have it.

Sail Away

47

I'm at a loss at how to get thru to my parents. I fear they will die before they will stop shunning me.

by cognisonance in

all i want is this: for us to be a family, to spend time together enjoying life.

i don't wish to debate about their beliefs when together.

they can remain jws for all i care.

Sail Away

ToesUp, thank you for your kind words. At this point I believe the most important thing for our family is to break the cycle of abuse. Unconditional love is the only way forward. For me it is important that I not let other people's thoughts or behaviors define who I am or change my behavior. Ultimately, that's what got me out of the organization.

47

I'm at a loss at how to get thru to my parents. I fear they will die before they will stop shunning me.

by cognisonance in

all i want is this: for us to be a family, to spend time together enjoying life.

i don't wish to debate about their beliefs when together.

they can remain jws for all i care.

Sail Away

I'm sorry you are suffering the consequences of the organization's shunning policies. Sadly, it destroy families. My husband's parents have been shunning him for over 35 years now. They were converts in their early thirties when my husband was five years old, and now they are in their late eighties. My husband was a full-time pioneer, bethelite and ministerial servant who faded.

During the time that our children were growing up my in-laws allowed yearly visits, but we didn't stay in their home. We had to travel over 500 miles to visit, and we stayed in a motel. My MIL used to write me and the children weekly when they were young, but my in-laws never initiated contact with my husband. I was the go between. My in-laws were never grand parents to our children. They kept their distance even though both children were active baptized witnesses.

Now that our children are grown, the "essential family business" only edict is in place. My husband calls his parents whenever there is a significant weather event to check on their well being. Neither of his parents will speak to him for more than five minutes on the telephone. There can be a major blizzard with six feet of snow, and my FIL will say he is busy and has to go. They were so hateful during our last visit, that my husband and I decided that we would not visit again. That was over five years ago. I wish for his sake that my husband would cut off all contact. They still manage to hurt him after all these years.

They shun our disfellowshipped son. They shun our daughter who went to college and lived with her husband before marriage. She is not DF'd and did not DA. I have not exchanged letters with my MIL in over two years as I just can't stand the venom and death threats (you know the ones-- you're going to die at Armageddon if you don't return to Jehovah, etc.) any longer, but two weeks ago I sent a birth notice about their new great grandson. My daughter had a beautiful baby boy. I sent them a card and photos. They have not responded.

My husband and I surmise that my FIL who is a former presiding overseer may have called my former elders and confirmed that I am no longer an active witness and have not attended meetings in over three years. The other possibility is that one of them is ill or has died. They have made it very clear that "communication is not necessary" and that "everything is all set", meaning that my husband is written out of their will (This was done decades ago. The WT will get every penny of a two million dollar estate.), and "the local brothers will handle everything". They told us this during our last visit.

The reason I'm telling you this, cognisonance, is that I'm afraid you may have to accept that things will not change significantly with your parents. Be as kind as you can for as long as you can, but please don't allow them to emotionally abuse you under the guise of love. This is not love.

It would not serve my husband's parents to learn TTATT. They are too old and set in their ways. I left the organization after 42 years in at age 52. It was exceedingly difficult for me even at that age. Sometimes acceptance is the only way through.

Wishing you all the best,

Sail Away

26

Counsellor needed please!

by stuckinarut2 in

jw
friends

hi all.. i have noticed that many of our forum members have sought professional help from counsellors who deal with ones like us who have broken free from high control groups or "cults".. my self esteem has been rocked by recent events in the cong, and while i know ttatt it still has taken my joy in life away quite a bit.. as you all know, mentally i broke free from the org several years ago, but now that i am trying to start making the physical break, i feel really unsettled and nervous.. i wonder if a good counsellor could assist in helping me clarify and sort my feelings and emotions , and provide help to take practical steps to cut all ties with the org?.

if anyone can provide ideas of good counsellors, it would be appreciated.. thanks everyone!.

Sail Away

Fringie8 hours ago

Hi Sail away, thanks so much for the link to your article, I found it really helpful. I’ve put it on my favourites list to refer back to regularly.

Xxxoooxxx

Fringie, thanks for posting! It's good to know that my experience can be of help to another struggling Ex-JW. I have received immeasurable help from the Ex-JW community, and it feels good to give back.

20

My Day's Long and Arduous Journey

by compound complex in

jw
friends

this, my day's long and arduous journey, is winding down as infinite night gracefully descends and takes me into her welcomed embrace.. i have no reason to fear the inevitable, my transition into a higher and more glorious estate than was allowed me upon this beautiful but angst-filled habitation.. what must be borne with calm, with dignity, with rejoicing, has been prepared for me from earliest times.

its accomplishment requires nothing of me .

.

Sail Away

What must be borne with calm, with dignity, with rejoicing, has been prepared for me from earliest times. Its accomplishment requires nothing of me . . .

(((CoCo))), I'm relieved to see you are posting again! May you gain strength each and every day! Thank you so much for your kind words of support toward me concerning my husband and his illness. That you would respond to me when you were struggling with your own health issues speaks volumes as to the kind of man you truly are!

Sometimes it is all about acceptance, isn't it? May you be well and continue to add your beautiful insights and words to this community.

ETA I wish I knew how to do the quotes thingy properly!

26

Counsellor needed please!

by stuckinarut2 in

jw
friends

hi all.. i have noticed that many of our forum members have sought professional help from counsellors who deal with ones like us who have broken free from high control groups or "cults".. my self esteem has been rocked by recent events in the cong, and while i know ttatt it still has taken my joy in life away quite a bit.. as you all know, mentally i broke free from the org several years ago, but now that i am trying to start making the physical break, i feel really unsettled and nervous.. i wonder if a good counsellor could assist in helping me clarify and sort my feelings and emotions , and provide help to take practical steps to cut all ties with the org?.

if anyone can provide ideas of good counsellors, it would be appreciated.. thanks everyone!.

Sail Away

Stuckinarut, I was going to share some information about my my healing process from severe, recurrent clinical depression and anxiety which included Dialectical Behavior therapy, Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ACT is a therapy similar to EMDR for Post-traumatic Stress Disorder which eliminates distress from flashbacks; it does work!), mindfulness meditation, tai chi and qigong. I Typed DBT Legitimate Rights into Google. I was very surprised, if not shocked to see that AAWA made available to the public an article that I wrote for them in their early beginnings as a closed group.

Well, since it's out there anyway, here's the link. I hope it helps in some small way. You may be surprised to see that the WT organization takes away every one of our Legitimate Rights!

http://aawa.co/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/AAWA-Recovery-Self-Care-Tips.pdf

I have since been exploring Buddhist Psychology and am seeing a Buddhist therapist. I find his insights profoundly helpful. I will always have PTSD, but I am no longer depressed and am not taking any prescription drugs for anxiety or depression. It can and does get better!

30

Site issues: Jan 02 Update (Sign In)

by Simon in

i've deployed a fix for people affected by sign-in issues caused by having multiple accounts associated with the same email address.

here's how to activate the fix:.

you must attempt to sign in using the email address associated with your account (not a username) and must have access to that mailbox.. if there are multiple accounts associated with the email address then you will be shown a warning message with the option to have an email sent to repair your account.. the email will contain a link to a page showing all the accounts associated with the same email address and allow you to select the one you want to be active (it will disassociate all the other accounts from the email address).. once you have completed the process then you should be able to sign in as normal.

Sail Away

Success! Your fix works. Thank you, Simon!

Hope you are feeling better. Happy New Year!

16

That's what's missing from our family

by dissonance_resolved in

tonight as i was putting my son to bed, we were looking out his bedroom window from his bed, down upon the neighbors' house across the street.

they have a beautiful, big sparkly christmas tree in their front window and my son gazed at it and said, "that's what's missing from our family.

" talk about daggers through the heart!.

Sail Away

"Now I think he still feels like the rug has been pulled out from under him." dissonance_resolved

Don't underestimate this insight of yours. I felt completely betrayed when my husband walked away from the organization. We had agreed to "raise our kids in The Truth together". We were raised in as well.

Once I left, I felt a need to apologize to my children for raising them in a cult. They said it didn't matter, they knew that everyting I had ever done was out of love. Act from love, it won't steer you wrong. When your kids grow up you may be surprised at the things that really mattered to them-- I certainly was!

Neither one of my kids is particularly into the whole Christmas hoopla, but they very much express the spirit of love and family during the holiday season. Please don't make your hubby choose religion over family by insisting on a tree in your home. That's what the JWs do, and it destroys families. Don't base your decison on the feeling that your kids are being hurt. It is a feeling, not a fact. There are families all over the the world who don't celebrate Christmas, and IMO, it doesn't hurt a child to learn that it's OK to be a little different.

Sail Away